I’m literally in tears as I write this.  It’s 10:30am and I haven’t pumped since midnight, but she needs me.  My stomach rumbles every time I look at this stupid muffin sitting just 2 feet away on the coffee table. There’s laundry to fold, floors to clean and pictures to edit, yet here I sit on the couch, because if I move she will wake up and cry.

The last 2 months have been a roller coaster ride. With Nick starting back on a night shift now (BLAH!!!) we are in for some more loops here soon. Some days she laughs and smiles, others she screams for no real reason. It’s enough to make me want to give up and go back to bed, but she needs me.

I’ve heard a thousand times that things will change now that I’m a mom.  That everything will be different, that I’ll no longer be “free“.  While I’m not sure how “free” I was before this little girl joined our lives, but I can say that things have changed.  Now I think about someone else constantly. I no longer spend a full day cleaning or sleep deeply through the night.  My hair is a constant mess, make up is rarely done and showers are more like a neurotic game of “Baby or Imagination”. Why? Because my time is better spent taking care of her needs than dusting daily or putting on mascara or smelling like a cherry blossom (although I do miss not smelling like milk and sweat constantly).

Some days are rough and some days I feel like I’m failing.  But all in all, I do LOVE being a mommy.  I love watching her grow and smile, hearing her talk and coo.  I love our family outings and nights in on the couch snuggling.  Most of all, I love that I’m her mommy and that she’s my Little Dove and nothing will ever change that.

Now I have to go.  She just woke up and she needs me.


Blue Grey Project_March 32

Blue Grey Project_March 35

Blue Grey Project_March 36

Blue Grey Project_March 01

Posted by:Amy Clark

Hey, sunshine! I’m a proud entrepreneurial mama with three kids and a hunky husband. I worship chocolate like a deity, drink homemade lattes like my life depends on it and think jeggings are one of the greatest inventions of the 21st Century. A photographer, educator + military spouse, my happiest days are spent helping creative-based small business owners reach their business goals. Have questions about photography, business or life with 3 littles?- feel free to email me! amy@amyclarkcreative.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s